If you think booming bitcoin was the best investment of the year, think again. The cryptocurrency has grabbed headlines after rocketing nearly 130% in 2024 — thanks partly to hopes that the new regime in Washington is going to flood the digital-asset industry with taxpayer dollars. But nearly 400 U.S. stocks and 20 digital currencies produced even higher returns this year, financial data show. So, too, did the humble cocoa bean as MarketWatch’s Myra Saefong points out. There again, cocoa beans are pretty much useless. You can’t really use them for anything except making chocolate, a minuscule niche product which almost nobody wants. By comparison, bitcoin is absolutely essential for core human daily activities, like, er, laundering money and speculating on the price of bitcoin. It raises again the perennial question of whether it’s better to be good or just lucky. Someone who bought stock in genome-testing biotech stock GeneDX at the start of the year is looking at bitcoin’s price and laughing: They’ve made 28 times their money in 2024, as the stock has risen from $2.75 at the start of the year to $77.40 now. You could have bought stock in Quantum Computing a super-high-tech computing company, at 89 cents at the start of the year. Today those shares would be worth $17.60 each, or about 20 times as much. In total, FactSet lists more than 400 individual stocks that produced bigger gains than 130% this year. When you weed out penny stocks, over-the-counter stocks and really, really small companies, you’re still left with more than 100 stocks valued above $500 million. These include not just soaring high-tech stocks like Palantir (up 370%) and MicroStrategy (up nearly 600%), but some well known Main Street names as well. Online car dealer Carvana (up more than 300%), Freddie Mac (up 200%), and salad chain Sweetgreen (up 200%) all did better this year than bitcoin. Even United Airlines up 136%, is just ahead. Bitcoin has also trailed nearly 20 rival cryptocurrencies, including mantra (up 6,000%), pepe (up 1,300%), dogwifhat (up 1,200%), bitget token (600%), XRP (up 260%) and Elon Musk’s beloved dogecoin (up 250%). On Wall Street, there’s always someone luckier than you. The crypto boom raises intriguing questions. Among them is, once again, the actual purpose of these online digital tokens — other than as tools for money laundering and for speculating on the tokens themselves. The original argument was that bitcoin was a libertarian projection, creating a “people’s money” completely independent of the government. But bitcoin bros themselves have thrown this argument under the bus recently, and have begun calling for incoming U.S. President Donald Trump to create a so-called national bitcoin reserve run by the federal government. Another way of putting this is that they want the Trump administration to buy their bitcoins at today’s high prices, using taxpayer dollars. President-elect Trump seems open to the idea. No wonder bitcoin prices have jumped 40% just since the election. OpenSecrets, the Washington nonprofit that tracks money in politics, tells MarketWatch that the cryptocurrency industry donated $148 million to federal political candidates in the most recent election. Cynics might suggest that crypto’s “new era” looks remarkably like the old era. Meanwhile, at current bitcoin prices, the world’s entire stock of the digital currency is valued at $1.9 trillion. For comparison, FactSet calculates that’s 50% more than the current market value of the entire U.S. energy industry, which made net income of $110 million last year. Which would you rather own?